Newman and Reflections on a Funeral

Another passing that is certainly being felt by a great many people...

Great video of Paul Newman speaking about the education that was obtained at Kenyon (My Alma Mater) and all things honorable http://www.kenyon.edu/x42610.xml
...if we had more selfless and innovative, forward thinking people...the world MIGHT be a better place. Said best from his daughter, ask yourself, What Would Paul Newman Do? http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=9940819&ch=4226715&src=news


It's seems appropriate that in the wake of all the tributes and memorials it seems appropriate to add my recent observations from a friends mom's memorial....the humor cuts the heart in a way for anyone to lose someone that has such a positive influence on oneself and whose imfluence by the turn out and emotion in the church clearly impacted many.


I've been to many "celebrations of life" which are always packed with videos and songs, and a tribute to the passed in a very....broadway kind of way....I gues this comes from knowing lots of theatre people who die way too soon and it's just too painful to drape "the end" in the dark finality of a true memorial service. Although the celebration of life I think is a very valid way to do just that, celebrate their life, I've never personally been so convinced its always the best way to deal and cope with the actual death. That being said, I have less issue with death than many so I kind of am one of the exceptions to the rule. On this particular occasion this was a church and not a theatre, and though there were a few smiles, and a few songs, their was definately a difficult air of loss everyone couldn't help but acknowledge hanging about the short service.

Observation 1. I'm spiritual but not religious and I always have a challenge keeping my eyes from rolling when religion becomes the answer to all things. Across the front of the church in giant letters was "With God All Things Are Possible" Mathew something something. I of course read With DOG All Things Are Possible. This made much more sense to me. But you can't knock what gives people comfort, and actually the quote of a bible passage, or a hymn is actually comforting to me, NOT becuase I know that the afterlife is indeed a life, but becuase it immediately takes the emotion OUT of it for some reason. This warrant more study, as I wonder what I'm reacting to and why.

Observation 2. Color is the new black. I'm not sure when the trend changed, but many people at this service were in colors. Not like what I wear should be how I honor those that passed, but I'm not sure when people decided to not put thought into the whole respectiful black or dark colored attire.

Observation 3. I remember one of the reasons I don't like church. There's no clapping in Church. When someone speaks well, or sings through tears (more on that later) my hands would like to honor them by clapping. But you can't do this in church. And I still don't know why the poetry about someone's life when so aptly captured can not be acknowledged through applause. Let everyone know that there should be plenty of clapping insupport of everyone who is articulate at my funeral.

Observation 4. I always was amazed on American Idol that they vote you off and then make you sing. You are faced with being the most sucky that week, and losing your chance and fame and fortune and then you have to turn around and remember lyrics and sing on cue. This would be hell for me. Well that and door to door sales in someplace cold, but singing through tears would be a close second. So you can imagine if you have lost a close friend and fellow church memeber how difficult it would be to do them the honor of singing for them. And yet it was done amazingly well. And again, I can't clap. I know, it's not about THEM, but their tribute was appropriate, and moving, and it helped me to get to know the deceased better by hearing that song, that way.

Observation 5. This was the first service where a song on piano was played instead of making a comment. Not a song on the program, but when the mic was being passed around for people to share their stories and comments, words failed and a song was played instead. Very interesting and very moving indeed.

Observation 6. If you are an emotional person, bring tissue to a memorial service. No naming names here, but even I, the cold heartless bitch, knows to bring tissue just in case. I supplied additional people who were not prepared with tissue. Silly Rabbits.

Observation 7. A flask will always make it to a service. Always. I was amused, though not at all surprised to see a few familiar faces toasting to loved one, and taking a bit of the edge of an emotional week.

And there you have it. Goodbyes all around...and more to come I fear before the year is out. Be careful out there, and be good to each other!